TF Reviews

With Transformers spanning over 30 years now, reviews usually involve a little history lesson.

You know, for accessibility.

This one will be no different:

The last few years have seen an immense uprising of really good Transformers figures. Besides the movies and TV shows there have been great figures based on the comics and stand-alone releases. After Combiner Wars rocked our socks off we were bombarded with Headmasters 2.0 Hasbro masturbatorily (?) gave the moniker Titans Return.

The original 80’s Headmasters featured the play pattern of Transformers with removable heads which in turn were tiny Transformers as well. Inventive as the gimmick was the figures themselves were bricks. Standing up straight usually was all the posing they could muster.

Someone get this guy a pedestal!

Starting in the early 2000’s the Classics line hit as a reinvisioning of, well… classic figures with modern engineering of which Titans Return is the latest semi-continuation. Again featuring a plethora of fan favorite characters and reiterations of more obscure figures, today we’re taking a look at a guy who traditionally gets hit-or-miss figures: This is Titans Return Astrotrain with Darkmoon.

A tall, blocky, bulky and at the same time sleek Voyager Class bot, this guy looks like a humanoid apartment building. And, being Astrotrain, it should come as no surprise he’s a Triple Changer.

His robot mode is absolutely fantastic. Despite his statuesque appearance he is very nicely posable and his details just won’t stop. There are molded wheels, windows, doors, hydraulics, scaffolding, weapon ports and whatnot. Taking these into account, I’d say in real life Astrotrain would be roughly 9 stories high.

Frankly I feel he has an air to him which I can only identify as Dieselpunk; an anachronistic 1930’s Art Déco deathmachine.

Choo choo!

Muthaslagga!

After a simple but effective transformation (make sure you fold out all the panels!) I noticed his train mode does nothing to counter this.

He transforms into a ridiculously long Dieselpunk armored assault train. I love this form, because obviously it’s pretty big (read: long), but also because there are a lot of different ways you can configure it. There’s a lot of customization possible like several ways you can plug in the guns, have Darkmoon kick it in the cockpit or man the weaponry, put the wings up or down, all that jazz.

But, because of his overall configuration there is an unfeatured extra  in that you get to decide if you want him to be a steam engine or a bullet train.

It’s these kinds of extras that make my inner child giggle.

Yes, yes, I know Astrotrain originally transformed into a regular steam engine, but frankly, this train is just so awesome I can’t bring myself to care.

Then there is his, for lack of a better word, weakest form in my opinion: his Space Shuttle mode.

This mode, much like the train, offers a lot of options for accessorizing.

But while they call it a Space Shuttle, and although it looks the part good enough, I found myself preferring to call it an aircraft carrier of the intergalactic variety.

It underlines his implied size a lot better, amplifies his abilities beyond being the Decepticons’ designated driver and it justifies his flatness.

Hi!

He popped up here and there but he deserves a peek at well: Astrotrain’s Titan Master Darkmoon.

As stated, Darkmoon is what is called a Titan Master, a (by comparison) tiny robot who transforms into the main attraction's head.

This is achieved by simply folding him in half and plugging the Titan Master's head into the larger guy's neck stump (!)

Unmuffed.

Darkmoon's neck joint then becomes Astrotrain's, but what is pretty neat too with this set is how, after you plug in Darkmoon, there's a lever on Astrotrain's torso which pops out his G1-accurate earmuffs shoulder pylons.

These obviously hinder his ability to look around (and he doesn't look bad without them), but the pylons themselves are on a turning platform at well, minimizing the hindrance.

Muffed.

Just one of those nice little things that didn't necessarily have to be there, but it is.

Since Combiner Wars, figures now come with a collector card, with on the flipside a tech spec.

That stands for "Technical Specification" in case you're... well... stupid.

The Titans Return tech specs suggest that the Titan Masters amplify the main character’s power, but even then I’m still a bit hazy about what kind of relationship Astrotrain and Darkmoon are supposed to have.

Let's see.

Darkmoon transforms into Astrotrain’s head, fair enough, and in doing so “powers up” Astrotrain. But then what? Does that imply Astrotrain can still function when Darkmoon is off doing whatever he does in his off time? How? And is Darkmoon  able to detach himself from Astrotrain on his own accord when they’re in robot mode? And then does Astrotrain walk around without his head, revert back to one of his vehicle forms or does he just go KO?

And what about when he’s in one of his vehicle forms? Does Darkmoon still need to stay in Astrotrain’s vicinity, like some life support wifi?

Hell if I know, but it is how it is, and I’m perfectly fine with it.

HIYEE!

In any case, Darkmoon is an adorable little guy, like his towering companion (or body, or mech) cast in purple and grey, and deceptively poseable.

Of course, his tiny stature limits his poseability, but with ball jointed shoulders and neck and hinging knees and hips he can do a decent routine of “Head, shoulders, knee and toe” (“knee and toe”)

If you look (really) close you’ll see he kinda looks like Optimus Prime, but I can overlook that.

Easily.

Get it? Because he’s tiny.

Ha-ha! Ha...

I deserve a punch in the face.

I'll do it myself!

Anyway, like I’ve said before: this guy, or rather, this set, is just fantastic.

Astrotrain is tall and impressive and his alt modes are great as well.

On top of that I’ve grown kinda fond of the interchangeable play pattern of the Titan Masters.

If you’re on the fence about the gimmick, I understand, but keep a bit of an open mind and all in all this figure is a very decent representation of Astrotrain.

I won't go so far as to calling him a must-have figure, but a highly recommended one.

*hums Head Shoulders Knee and Toes*

Savvy?